On Inclusivity in Birth

Ok white women in the birth world. It’s time for a big ass call in. Like you perhaps, I am married to my work as a doula as it is soul expansive work that deepens my connection to others and myself. It is work that is rooted in liberation, sovereignty and finding ones true essence. It is sacred work cultivated by people since the beginning of time. Since before colonialism and the genesis of the gender binary (that you seem so vehemently predisposed to protect even though it’s literally the reason for your oppression! But more on that later.)

Even when I feel in a funk I can come back to this work and find purpose, depth and love. Yet, as with most structures with rotten foundations, the pressures of the pandemic is exposing a decrepit underside of racism and gender essentialism that we always knew was there but fucking heck. There are a lot of people in this community, who’s values I thought I aligned with that I am watching desperately cling to the power they possess because of white supremacy while audaciously denying folks of their empowerment by dismissing the lived experiences of trans, non binary and intersex folk as people who give birth.

The white women who run these eco-fascist birth spaces are not only deluded but so very dangerous in their self appointed authority to speak on anything and decide whether or not it is real. Influential white fascist women in hippie garb dismissing the black women in their so-called “ exclusive sisterhood” and their very real and dark experiences of racism and violence as “hurt feelings” and “low vibes.” 🤮

The dissemination of hatred and violence is the antithesis of this work at its root. This self-appointed authority to deny the lived experience of another person is admitting your incapability of holding complexity and the understanding that more than one thing can be true and that we are all live at differing intersections of oppression and privilege. You are admitting that you are in the wrong line of work.

Yes, some women give birth but not all women give birth and not all people who birth are women. Your experience of your body, your womb and your womanhood does not suffer when another person identifies as something outside of your comprehension. Nobody is telling you that you need to identify as a “birthing person” or “person with a womb.” This language is used when we speak to of birth in an open space because whether you like it or not, you are a birthing person as much as you are a woman and using these terms is a way to allow all experiences namely those who do not identify as a woman but still have the desire and the right to give birth to be seen, to matter, to be included and empowered. It does not detract from your experience. Unless of course you let it, and that’s your choice and honestly, what the fuck does that offer the world?

The shit I have read baffles my brain. The cognitive dissonance and hypocrisy under the poorly assembled guise of “radical feminism” goes against everything that feminism was born of. Equality is the purpose of this movement. To be heard, seen, to count. This is regressive feminism. This idea that trans ideology is misogynistic because it reduces “woman” to a feeling is a weak argument. Sweetie, if womanhood to you is the existence of your womb and your ability to birth babies then fucking lucky for you. Nobody is trying to take that away from you, it is in fact you that is trying to take that somebody else’s reality away from them. Another notion I read is that “inclusivity is the colonisation of feminism.” Really? Really though? BAWK. Can we unpack that a tiny bit? Anyone? To be included was the whole fucking point of feminism and the gender binary was imposed by white colonialism in the first place.

You are entitled to identify as a woman if you so chose. What you are not entitled to is to impose your beliefs of what womanhood means to you onto everyone else. That’s not up to you and also, just be better. Don’t let someone else’s truth detract from your own. Don’t waste your energy trying to negate another person’s existence. It doesn’t bring any good to this fluid, ever changing world. Hold your truth and let other hold theirs and meet in commune with openness, tenderness and love. THIS is what we need. This heals. This heals everyone and everything.